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Not Here

by Super 8 Porno

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1.
Pt. 2 10:10
Hello, Hi, How are you? I’m no longer a mouse destroying your home New sounds, I stand here alone beginning again in Iceland struck forward by the strength of snowstorms in the south Again and again I hate these words but I will dare to open my mouth oh fuck all that sad shit Im not gonna do it again well, maybe one last drag fuck it, what a drag, I’m not glad, you got mad, just look at me so young and sad Can you tell by that reference to Daniel Johnston? Or the cigarettes in my pocket? Or the tears In my Jeans? Or the way I hate my hometown He asked me If I’d spoken to you, I said “No it’s complicated” The problem is that I keep dealing with that absent feeling, and not what really happened. But I’m gonna try to now, Then I promise I’ll stop bitching okay here it goes— Hiding my sight behind your eyelids I spit out nothing into a cup of coffee cold. You were shook up and I couldn't talk I wrote on napkins what I thought was comfort. I turned up the heat, it kept you still, but I began to sweat I couldn’t hold the pen my handwriting went Jackson and you turned on your axis the sun only shone on your forehead the rest of you, was all shadow Now not only my feet were cold. You pulled at my skin and my bones broke free you told me “Baby, Please stop hurting me.” I just need to break free I need to know that I don’t know you. I know you remember I need to break free I need to know that I can forget and let go.
2.
Annie gets dressed in her Sunday best, We’re full of that middle school blush and that teenage lust Let me touch your chest oh my god I am your breath now whats your way of saying No ifs, ands or buts— Unconditional love? Annie and Billy go for a walk Mostly Billy talks, He’s getting nervous now We’re full of red hot blood and hungry is as hungry does I know just what you're thinking of no ifs ands or buts— unconditional love Billy says to Annie “I love how you taste” Billy goes at Annie, He’s young but he makes haste Billys got blood oh no Billys got blood on his hands
3.
Mary Lou 04:31
I didn’t know that I changed the station on my radio you turned soft I climbed up your arms and rolled across the curve of your shoulder to the neck Between our heads thoughts fell dead oh Mary lou, I’m glad I got to know you Mary lou, Do I even know you? Deathly cold, Never thought I’d grow old in this car, but I’d like to could you lock that door, please stay inside it’s warm or leave if you want to oh mary lou, what the hell did I do to you mary lou, do I even know you? you thought you saw it wrong because of your age but you saw it all wrong through your tinted shades.
4.
Whats does it feel like to be you? is it better to know or be known by you how much does your skin weigh? what does it feel like to be you do you feel your blood flow as much as I do. I saw you last night, you were a bed sheet ghost did you know? I knew your thread count. did you know you’re a bedsheet ghost What's it like to be you right now?
5.
The sun blinded me, and I couldn’t see the branches swaying gracefully, and the leaves falling into those woods in my backyard those woods back there there was a small beach there the ocean a stream across the coast those woods behind my house and every morning wed wake up and that same sun would hit our eyes and we;d go blind we'd lost our sight and one morning i reached over to touch your hair but all i felt was cotton there so i got up, I step outside, I saw the clouds, I lost my light.
6.
No one wants to know.
7.
I'm Dreaming 06:30
No one wants to know I’m dreaming it’s all just closed eyelids closed I want someone to know about these visions only I know I’m dreaming don’t wake me up I’m dreaming that I didn’t have to drive we’re still in andy and no ones leaving I’m dreaming I didn’t have to choose about days and people with nothing to lose I’m dreaming your parents never let me sleep over I’m dreaming it was all a mistake but it doesn’t matter now I’m dreaming Its so easy I’m dreaming about a terrible place It’s not all that bad. I love dreaming but last night I dreamed I killed a dog I was beating him senselessly when he cried help me help me I shaved half his fur and I didn’t care that he was hurt Now he’s only got a shirt oh no
8.
Shine 04:48
What do ya do when you're trapped in the snow? or where do you go when your driveways clear? I prefer walking on ice all alone ducking my head under stop signs I love this strange land where bars become heaven everyone you’ve ever known next to you with a drink in hand It always has to melt turn out the streetlights and you could still see, those great hills staring right back at you the air is bright and burning tearing straight through you But I know that sometime the sun has to shine
9.
Not Here 05:13
oh annie and caroline too I used to look just at you, straight at you but now I’m looking at you hidden by a headrest through my rearview mirror and I had to drive away Let me be everything you hate about everything since I’ve left I still don’t love you, I used to, but I don’t know how to give it to anyone else I’m an ill fitting black leather jacket, with your smell cold to the touch a walking, tangible hell I am sewer rat eating trash out your trashcan look at me bringing it up again and again I’m not there you're not here tomorrow it would have been a year not even a year I’ve gotten on better with out you but that doesn’t mean I hate you and I’m so terrified of you not being terrified of never talking again In the morning I woke up I step outside and the sun still shined wind still blew no one knew I went to the movies Saw charlie brown what did he do? He took flight went out of sight above your eyes above you
10.
Pt. 1 02:40

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Thanks to anyone and everyone I've spent time with these past few months.

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released February 29, 2016

All songs written and performed by Super 8 Porno. "Shine" Mixed by $amson

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Super 8 Porno Spartanburg, South Carolina

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